Bye Bye Binky

My daughter was a formula baby. She wasn't breast feed. She was a very healthy baby, nice and chunky. We also didn't co-sleep with her. She had her bassinet and when she quickly grew out of that, went immediately into her crib. This might be part of the reason she is extremely independent.
And because she was formula fed also made it easier to feed her then put her back to sleep with her best friend, "Binky".
Her favorite was the "Original Orange Binky" that the nurses in the hospital gave her. And my favorite was the "Mustache Binky" that was a baby shower gift. But many "Binkies" came and went and were brought in and out of rotation.
I didn't think that much about them other then I knew  always to have one handy. Sometimes nothing could sooth my baby girl's woes than the plugging in of her "Binky".
I didn't like for her to have one when we were "out-and-about" on the town. I didn't like the way it looked. And luckily for me she didn't need one during our outings. She was a very expressive baby and she was aware of the attention her expressions got her.  So when she made her funny expressions she wanted her entire face showing. (Born a ham)

Her "Binky" and her Lovey "Debra" (also a baby shower gift) has been with her from the beginning.
Those two go hand and hand, literally.
We were smart enough to think ahead and buys multiples so we'd always have a back-up.
That's something you don't wanna learn the hard way.

I would see other kids with their "Binkies" some older and some younger than my own and I wondered, "At what age does one give up the 'Binky'?"
My nephew still used a "Binky" at 3yrs old and I thought that seemed old, he called it a "Chucho". And he looks older that he actual is. When he came to visit us when he was 5yrs old he definitely didn't have his "Chucho" (he still had his "Lovey" though. He was coming without his parents from overseas so you couldn't expect him to come without any support. I thought that was pretty brave of him.)
I asked a few of my Mommy friends and some of them never even used a "Binky". Huh? No Binky?
As much as it was a comfort and support for my daughter it was kind of one for me too. When she was quiet, content and relaxed just slurping and sucking on her "Binky" I too was quiet, content and relaxed. Just slurping on my glass of wine. (Just kidding... am I?)

Then the teeth started coming in. Now there was teething involved and drooling and random crankiness. I'm sure the "Binky" worked time and a half during this period.
And once she became mobile she was putting "Binky" and EVERYTHING else in her mouth. And I mean EVERYTHING. Anything that was in her tiny baby hand's reach would end up in her mouth.

I would see those fancy moms in their fancy dresses looking like moms from magazines and they had those teething necklaces that were color coordinated with their outfits. They had JCrew accounts for sure. I wanted to look like those moms. I didn't want to know what they did, didn't do, or sacrificed to look like that I just wanted to wake up, looking like that.
Instead I had on the same jeans I've had on all week and maybe a clean shirt depending on what time of the day it was. My baby was on the go now and I had no time to color coordinate and she wanted to put everything in her mouth, EXCEPT for one of those $50 teething necklaces I got for myself at the Trendy Mommy boutiques in Park Slope, Brooklyn. She was moving around and getting into everything. We had a much smaller apartment at the time so I was able to gate her into a contained section. But that "Binky" of hers always seemed to find itself in the damnedest places.
I never did get one of those "Binky" clips. Those things probably are quite helpful.

I took my girl to the dentist when her very first tooth popped thru. It was a bit early but I read in one of my New Moms blogs that, that's what moms were doing these days so... while we had insurance why not. (I was wrong about the insurance thing by the way... it wasn't covered)
I LOVED the pediatric dentist that was recommended to me by one of my best friend's wife (who was also a Pediatric Dentist- go figure) she was great. I had a First Mommy panic and ended up calling her on a holiday weekend because I was convinced that my baby had did something to her gums after she hit her mouth on the crib.
It ended up being absolutely nothing and she was so kind and understanding. I brought her in for her official 1 year dental check up ( which was covered by insurance)
She did well and endured her first fluoride treatment. By the next visit we had switched dentists. Even though I LOVED the original dentist her staff was an abomination. I don't deal well with unprofessional and rude behavior if I don't have to. This new dentist turned out to be even BETTER than the original one and his staff is golden. (if you are in the New York, Brooklyn area and want a recommendation feel free to leave me a comment and I will give you his info)
At this time my daughter is 2yrs old with a mouth full of teeth and vocabulary to match. She has recently started Day Care for the first time. (that's a whole other post) The "Binky" has been unofficially reduced to only naps and bedtime. And they allowed her to have it at Day Care during her nap time. This is also in the middle of POTTY TRAINNING. (also  for another post)
What I have noticed in baby/toddlers (at least mine) is when they are in the middle of big transitions like, eating solids, sleeping through the night, sitting up, walking, talking, potty training... they tend to drop some of the past things they have been working on so they can focus.
For instant while we were doing great with only using the "Binky" for nap/bedtime when potty training started getting intense she wanted the "Binky" more.
We also relied on it more during long travels.
The "Binkies" themselves were getting a bit worn down. She was chewing them and the rubber nipple was often shredded or torn. I was afraid she would swallow the rubber so I kept replacing them. During her 2yr old dental visit the doctor made an announcement. He told me that when she turned 3yr there is NO MORE "BINKY". She would have to lose it and he suggested to do it cold turkey. I shuddered at the thought.

My daughter turned 3 in February. That's a cold month. And so were March and April actually. We didn't make her quit cold turkey but we did switch day cares and DID NOT let her have the "Binky" for nap time. So... she didn't nap. But at least she got used to NOT having it as often.
We were due for our next dentist appointment and knew this was gonna be the moment. So about 2 weeks before our appointment I started prepping her. I reminded her every night what the dentist had said. That she was a big girl now and that meant no more "Binky". She agreed that she was a big girl but she was not convinced that meant no more "Binky".
We practiced what we were going to say to the dentist on our next visit. "Here's my "Binky". I'm a big girl now so I don't need it." And then hand it to him. She was excited on the day of the appointment and I wasn't sure how it was all going to go down but she was at least prepared.
And like the trooper she is, she DID IT. She handed over that "Binky" like a champ. (She also got sunglasses, a Tierra, slinky and bubbles for it)
Right before we left the dental assistant pulled me to the side and said, "I know you have a stash of "Binkley" hidden at home somewhere, don't you?" I nodded that I did. "You have to promise me you will throw them away the minute you get home." I promised. (She made me pinky-swear)


When we got home from the dentist I ranted and raved and put on a big-to-do about how proud I was of my little, Big, girl and that she should be proud of herself too. She beamed with pride. We were cheerful, sweet and fun during dinner. She ate all her dinner and had a frozen fruit pop for desert.
Took a nice long bath because of the fluoride treatment she wasn't allowed to brush and that was fine with us both. She wiggled happily into her pajamas as we both sat on the bed ready to read some bedtime stories. Then the dark cloud hovered over the room and she turned to me, curiously and asked in a soft sweet voice, "where's my Binky?"
I gave her a hug and told her again how proud I was of her and now much of a big girl she was. I reminded her how brave she had been when she gave the "Binky" to the dentist and how he said he would tie it to balloons and they would fly up up in the sky.
She lost it!
She cried like I had never seen her cry before. This was a devastation cry. She couldn't believe this was happening to her, kind of cry. Then she screamed! She screamed the kind of scream when you just realized you made the biggest mistake of your life.

"NOOO!"
"I WANT MY BINKY!"

I tried to comfort her but she couldn't stop crying. She looked up at me as I held her in my arms and said, through her tears,  "It's my fault. I made a mistake. We have to go and get it. We have to go get it back."

 She broke from my grasp and began looking for her shoes.
"Let's go! Let's go get it!"

I told her she was a big girl now and she didn't need it anymore. She was strong and brave and yes this was hard but she could do it. I tried all the clichés I thought would work. She wasn't even trying to listen to me.

"Call Papa! He'll go! Tell Papa to go and get my Binky!"
"I WANT MY BINKY"

This was so hard to watch, my baby's devastation. She had lost her best friend, her confidant and the closest thing to her other than us. I knew this was a tough one and I knew I had to be there for her. And for the next 3 days I was her bedtime supporter. I laid down with her (longer than usual) I read more books that usual and I let her get away with a little bit more than she usually gets away with.

This lasted 5 days...
Once she started treating bedtime as an after hours play-fest. I was done. Back to cracking the whip and tightening up the reins. I still continue to remind her of her bravery and tell her how proud of her we are. My little baby girl is blossoming into a little BIG girl right in front of my eyes and it is an amazing thing to see. (and terrifying)

We are only on day 6. I'm thinking a couple more days and she won't even think about it anymore.
"Binky? What Binky?"

To Be or NOT To Be Naked (in front of your toddler)

How do we promote positive body image and teach our children to be secure in their own skin without freaking them out and giving them nightmares or complexes?
This is a hot topic in the Parent World.
I am American and my husband is European. We both have very similar views and parenting styles. But we grew up in different worlds. My parents were never shy about being naked. Especially not the women in my family. But then again we are a family of mostly women. My dad was the only male in the house other than the pets. I don't recall him ever being naked in front of us except for one time when I was a pre-teen about 11 or 12 and that image still haunts me.
Apparently my father, unbeknownst to me, slept in the nude and when the fire alarm in our house went off he swung open the door to check on his young daughter. And even though the light from behind him shadowed him into a silhouette, I saw his Full Monty. "EWWWW." 

Did it scar me for life? I don't think so but I still remember it. Maybe it stayed in my mind as a big deal because that was not a regular occurrence. That was my only memory of seeing my dad naked. (and believe me that was plenty... no pun intended)

Maybe if my father was as open with his nudity as the other women in my family were, it would not have resonated as much.
Well, I do remember seeing my Grandmother naked and that was NOT a pretty sight either. But that was a very important learning moment because I needed to know what happens to our bodies as we get older.

I understand that being the only guy in a house full of women of all ages, my dad probably felt it inappropriate to parade around his house naked and I agree. But at what age did he consciously decide to do this? My sister is 5 years older than me and my Grandmother has lived with us on and off for most of my childhood so maybe he never did. (unfortunately he is no longer with us to ask)

Now I have a 3 year old daughter and as much as I never thought I was a "prude", when my husband shared with me that he and our daughter (18mos at the time) took a bath together my first reaction was...

  "Hmmmmm. I don't know how I feel about that." It wasn't a matter of trust but more of a feeling of awkwardness. It's a total double standard for sure. I imagine a mother and baby in the bath together all cutesie and having a loving moment and then I think of a father and daughter in the bath and my mind makes a "screw-face". And it's not even like a stranger told me. It's my own husband and daughter. As quick as the red flags came up they released just as quickly. I filed it under "European" and didn't think about it again.
But the father naked in front of daughters seanario came up again at a playdate and we split the room 50/50. Me and another mom had similar reactions and the other mom and dad felt being nude in front of their daughters were freeing and normal.
Like everything we do as parents, we are ruled by our children. You have to know your child and be open and aware of how things we do and things they say effect them.

My toddler's Milestones are all hers and we have simply been her guides and her support. When she started sleeping through the night at 10 weeks old it was partly from research that I read and partly because the tools that I read about actually worked. (for HER)
If they hadn't worked then I would have tried something else. Ever child is different.

My toddler is at the end of her potty training. Of course I am the one that encourages her and guides her through this rite of passage but I am only following her lead. I can't make her or force her to use the toilet on command. And it is not from lack of trying. I can only give her the tools she needs to help her in her training. But she is the one in charge. She had been for a long time. The sooner we accept that the easier it will be for us to coexist.

Toddlers are scary.

I am trying to look at parenting as a team sport. Not only with your partner but with you child. We are the coaches and in order to get our team a WIN and a VICTORY we have to know their weaknesses and strengthen them.
And all of this without ruining them for life.
You have to know your child's tell-tell signs. Just as we mark their growth on the door frames we have to make mental notes of their reactions and feelings. By the time my toddler is a full fledged teenager I want to be able to read her like an open book. (I'm sure I won't but maybe I can have a little insight when I need it)

So back to the question, "Should I cover up in front of my toddler or let it all hang out?"

We are our children's first everything. First teachers, first friend, first supporter and first love.  If your toddler seems uncomfortable or bothered with your nakedness than cover it up. If they aren't bothered by it then let it flow. Whether you are part of the Naked or Not So Naked way of thinking, keep the communication open and teach your toddler that their bodies are not only beautiful but sacred.
And if your Toddler looks at you or your partner naked and asks, "What's that?"

 Be prepared. What will you say? Are you the "pee pee" or the "penis"? Are you the "kitty-cat" or the "vagina"? Are you the type to name your privates or go clinical?

We try and keep it close to clinical as we can. I don't want there to be any misunderstandings when it comes to the "PRIVATES". All parties involved need to be clear on what we are discussing when the topic arises. And the main thing we really try to do is be honest. (without giving too much information too soon) They're toddlers, keep it simple and remember what ever you tell them they will 100% repeat it at the most inappropriate time.

Toddler Guide Flying Tips

There are always tricks and tips to having a successful trip, when traveling with your family. Especially when you are traveling with small children. There are many things one can do when you are traveling with your infant but here we will talk about a successful travel with your toddler.
I say successful knowing that this could vary depending on the individual. A successful flight for me is if I don't try to jump out of the plane during the flight.  (just kidding...kind of)

Sometimes a successful flight just means that when you finally land the same people who smiled and made "toddler small talk" are still smiling and not avoiding your sheepish grins of sorry or glaring at you with hateful thoughts.



TIMING
(book your flights a couple hours before nap or bedtimes)
I always try to take the first morning flights or late evening flights so there is a better chance of getting your toddler to sleep. Especially with the longer flights. But be aware that the night flights are annoying because the flight attendants turn the light on ever five minutes. (This was extremely annoying with our infant more than our toddler. Usually a toddler, once asleep, will stay knockout most of the time.)


COMFY CLOTHES
(bring an extra change on the plane)
Unless you are carrying on luggage, and are able to keep it handy, have an extra change or two with you for accidents. We made that mistake only just recently. For our trip to Dominican Republic we had our carry on ready but with the mosquito situation we brought huge bottles of bug repellant and had to check a bag. I wasn't thinking and checked the toddler bag. Bad Idea!
I was pretty careful but as you Toddler Mom's know, toddlers can closely resemble teenagers and when they want their way they don't always take "no" for an answer.
I turn away for just one minute and that tall cup of half apple juice half water that I specifically said not to grab had spilled in the toddler's lap.
Luckily an hour was enough to semi dry cheap target leggings if you stick them in the plane's window shade.
Otherwise I was prepared to "jimmy-rig" a skirt out of the red Delta blanket.

Extra points= change their outfit when you land in the gate bathroom and your friends and or family will be so impressed at how neat and clean they are after a long flight.


TRAVEL GIFTS
(toddler attention span is no more than 15 mins)
Hit your local 99 cent store or take some of their smaller toys that they haven't  looked at in ages and wrap them individually. And when they start getting restless give them one at a time to open and play with. Try to spread them out, time wise, as much as you can. It even helps as bribes for good behavior.
Books are good too but I don't count them in the travel gifts because they aren't as exciting (at least not for my toddler) But I still bring them on flights for extra entertainment.


SNACKS SNACKS and MORE SNACKS
(snacks and toddlers go hand and hand)
To be honest, when you ard dealing with toddlers SNACKS are the answer to a lot of quick fix problems. Luckily snacks are one of the few things you can still bring on flights. You can also bring water if its in some sort of baby bottle or sippy cup looking thing. They "test" it now.
So bring easy accessible snacks that you can grab and go and try to stay away from sugar snacks. You don't want your toddler bouncing off the airplane walls.
Raisins are great but be prepared to drop half of them on the floor. Fruit is great too but pre slice and or seperate for less mess and independent handling. Anything your toddler can do by themselves the better.
My toddler's favorite phrase is, "I do it myself."


ELECTRONICAL BABYSITTER
(fortunately or unfortunately we live in an electronical world where babies are born with a mental chip to understand and be obsessed with electronics)
What ever device you use, bring it. If your toddler is "unplugged", YOU obviously aren't so bring what ever portable devices you have, especially on long trips.
Most airlines now have built-in video screens where you can select your own programing. I suggest you purchase your own child safe headset, they have safeguarded volume controls so your toddler doesn't blow out their eardrums.


THE FAVORITE "LOVEY"
(nothing is more comforting than having your trusty partner that's been with you through thick and thin by your side)
And last but ,by far, NOT least...  please don't forget your toddlers favorite "Lovey", toy, stuffed animal, blankie, pillow or whatever it is that keeps them feeling safe and reminds them of home. Other than YOU this is their "I'm gonna be alright" item.
And whatever that item is I hope you have a standby or duplicate at home. Nothing is more upsetting to your toddler than to lose their "Lovey".
This happened to us recently (same Dominican Republic trip) we accidentally left our Toddler's Zebra on the plane. She has slept with this snuggler from day 1. We were dreading having to tell her that we left it on the plane. Luckily we also brought her stuffed puppy. My husband came up with a brilliant story. He told her that "Debra" flew back home on the plane to keep an eye on the house and would be waiting for her in her room when we returned.
We both froze waiting for the screams and water works but she bought it and said, "ok". She asked for it only a couple more times but she bought it hook line and sinker.
And when we strategically let her find "back up-Debra" she, not once, mentioned how clean this Debra was or made any suggestion that this was a fraud Debra and we all went back to business as usual.

So Parents. THAT is a successful travel experience.
Hope that helps. Safe Travels.

And please feel free to add on, share or agree to disagree in the comments section.

OPINIONS... they're like butt holes... everyone has one.

The opinions start coming in from the VERY beginning.

"You should get married in a church, not on a beach. Beaches are so public and sandy."               

"You should skip the honeymoon and save that money to buy a house" 

 "You should have a baby right away, you're not getting any younger,"

"Don't have a baby right away you need time to be a married couple."

I remember having a nervous breakdown (one of many) when it was time to set up my Baby Registration for the baby shower. I had no clue what I needed and what I didn't need.

I got some amazing advice from www.lucieslist.com. Shootout to Lucie!!

So of course I asked my girlfriends with kids.  And I got some great advice and lots and lots of opinions. Lots of contradicting opinions.

"Diaper Genie, an absolute MUST HAVE!"   "Diaper Genie, complete WASTE of MONEY."

Confusing to say the least. My Mommy Girlfriends are a huge part of my "village" and I would not be able to function without them. Some of the BEST advice I have gotten to date still comes from these Mommy's opinions. So don't throw out the baby with the bath water. Listen but keep in mind,   "Opinions are like butt holes... everyone has one".

I remember the baby years. Dressing her up in whatever I liked, thought was cute, happened to be clean(ish). We were blessed with "hand-me-downs" I LOVE "hand-me-downs".
The baby years (or months) they pretty much live in onesies and rompers, and sometimes socks depending on the season. All these adorable outfits, dresses and suits were either re-gifted, returned or passed on. By the time she was able to wear them they were either too small or out of season.
A great tip I got from my cousin Tonya was to put a couple of outfit changes, separated, in Ziploc bags and then put them in the diaper bag so when they mess up their clothes you grab a Ziploc and it already have
 a fresh outfit waiting AND you have plastic bag to put the dirty one in.

Great tip - it applies to potty training toddlers too.

I felt like a big kid with a live doll baby to dress up and talk to and imagine what the future would bring.

 I couldn't wait until Halloween. The first year she got two costumes to wear.





North West Kardashian

Princess Leia

 

I knew one day she would have an opinion about her fashion decisions so until that day came I would milk it for all it was worth. Plus I wanted to give myself enough baby Black-Mail photos as I could just in case I needed them.
I felt so lucky that my "Mini-Me" and I had the same taste. I was definitely in denial. She was so happy when I put her in all these cutesy dresses and rompers with matching bows, bells and bonnets,
I mean, she's a baby. She doesn't care what she wears as long as its comfy and she can Eat in it.

Little did I know she was waiting for the day she had enough vocabulary and motor skills to tell me what she REALLY thought.

And when that day came around year 2.75 she did. She had an opinion. And she had an opinion about Everything!

Now, when I pick out the cutest little outfits and dresses she tells me, "No. Not that one. I don't wanna wear that one." When I put her shoes on she screams, "NOOOOO! I don't like these shoes."
Even combing her hair in the morning has become topic of discussion. 
Ponytail vs. No Ponytail.    Braids vs. Bun.

I remember how happy she was when we gave her some "TV watching time" and put on what ever was playing on Disney Jr Channel. Now she's like, " I don't wanna watch Doc McStuffins I wanna watch Sofia the First. No! Not Sofia, PJ Masks."

When did my baby turn into an actual "person" with an "opinion'?

Pretty soon she will start to tell me what I should do. I have already caught her looking at me funny, as if she wants to say something but hasn't found the right words or the right time. But I know its coming.

Of course I knew eventually she would have her own views, feelings and ideas. I want that. I want to raise a well rounded woman who is bright and thoughtful, who asks questions and challenges others.
I want her to be able to think for herself and follow her gut feelings. I want her to feel comfortable questioning authority and have the ability to make up her own mind  and have strong opinions but ALREADY? Not NOW. Not at 3. I was thinking 23? Who has an opinion at 3? I need more time to influence you with MINE.

They are little sponges and as much as she is learning to develop her own opinion about the few things she has control over, she emulates everything she sees us do. So I have to be careful about MY opinions and how I choose to express them because they are always watching and repeating. Nothing is more inappropriate and embarrassing than your 3 year old publicly expressing an adult opinion in the wrong settings outside of the comfort and understanding of your friends and family. That's when you look at your Mimi-me like you have never seen this child before and try then to pretend you are the Nanny.

Like I said, there are a lot of opinions out there and some you listen to and some you don't. I guess its the same with our toddlers. They are hearing us but are they listening? I guess we will keep throwing it to them and see what sticks.
I am trying to be sure that my views and opinions are coming from a loving safe place and not a selfish insecure side of me. You'll see and know the difference when they get tossed back in your face. Its a hard reality.

I look forward to my baby girl growing into a little girl into a big girl but not so fast... SLOW DOWN.
It's a hard thing to do but sometimes we have to just sit back and enjoy the ride. (but hold on for dear life too)

The NEW "Terrible Twos"

Terrible Twos
Phrase of terrible


     1.   informal
           a period in a child's early social development
           (typically around the age of two years) that is 
           associated with defiant or unruly behavior.
          

 This is really an outdated term. This term is from the 50s when women (of certain means) were shocked and appalled at the behavior of their toddlers. It was, to say the least, TERRIBLE!
I remember dreading and counting the months until the Terrible Twos were coming. When you are a new parent you fantasize and dream of all the wonderful beautiful days ahead. Like this:

And then reality hits and you get something more of this:

This phenomenon started for my daughter at 1.5 years and I thought it was a bit early for her to start the Terrible Twos but then again MY daughter is advanced. (HA)
But the Mommy Crew I had acquired took great pleasure in informing me that I hadn't seen nothing yet.
 "Terrible Twos... wait to you hit the threes. They are worse."

I was devastated at this news. No one has ever mentioned to me about the Threes. This was the first I was hearing about it. I just assumed that once the Terrible Twos were over (not that it would be smooth sailing but) things would move toward the positive NOT the worse.
What happens at 4 years old?
 I don't want to point out JUST the terrible aspects of being a toddler. Our babies can walk, talk, sing, comprehend and respond to the world in a way only a toddler can. It is a most rewarding and entertaining time. One thing I have seen in the fabulous 4 year olds is a much bigger vocabulary.


Funny how none of these parents seem to know where they heard these words from. Mysterious!

 

 



 

 

So, What's my point?

Basically if you were/are anything like me and you're banking on trying to hold your breath long enough to get through the Terrible Two, might as well exhale now because after the Terrible Twos are the "Three-nagers".

 

And if you're lucky you might get cussed out by your 4 year old and become and internet success.

Until we can come up with a better term to call this era of Toddler Teens, the New Terrible Twos is more of an age range than set age.

Hang in there parents and keep those cameras rolling...

 

Fertility at 40 Foes and Frauds

Turning 40 is only scary when you are 30. Once you're in it, you're like, "this isn't so bad".

Getting married at an "older" age has great perks too. You don't feel obligated to listen to anyone's opinion on how, where, when or even who to invite to your wedding. When you get married at 40 you're most likely paying for your own wedding, so you can pretty much do what you want.

At 40 you have had most of your friends for a significant time and are pretty set in your ways.
"Can't teach an old dog new tricks" kind of feeling and you are okay with that.
Everywhere you look there are strong beautiful woman in their 40s looking good and feeling good. Starting businesses, going back to school, getting degrees and even starting healthy happy families.

At least celebrities are:

Halle Berry pregnant at 46


Kelly Preston Pregnant at 47



Geena Davis Pregnant at 48



Laura Linney Pregnant at 49



Cheryl Tigs Pregnant at 52



There are plenty more I could rattle off that are popping out babies like rabbits. It must be easy- peezy right?
We aren't as gullible enough to think these women aren't getting help. We all figure fertility is involved so when it came time for my husband and I to start our family we weren't worried. We'd try the old fashion way. We felt like we were in one of those romantic comedies where you check your fertility times and rush home to try and make that fertile window. I even did the handstands and legs up the wall. It was fun for the first couple of times then this crap got un-fun REAL fast.

Our romantic comedy turned into a psychological thriller.

Months, months and more months went by and we were not getting pregnant. So we decided it was time to call Dr. Fertility.

I was feeling pretty secure and comfortable before we even met with Dr. Fertility. We had about 10 maybe 20 thousand saved that we could put toward our fertility treatment. (why isn't this covered by insurance? That we can discuss on another post)
I was ready for MY People Magazine cover, for my Glamour Shot with my new twins. We even joked about how crazy it would be if we had triplets.
And then reality hit! It hit hard.
Dr. Fertility broke it down for us.
He said it was pretty simple. As young as you feel or as young as you look didn't count or matter in this case. You might still get carded at the bar and one of those, "You Go Girl"- looks,  when you hand over your id. But the bottom line is, you are old and your eggs are old too. Even with IVF treatment your chances are slim.
Um... excuse me Dr. Fertility. I know my celebrity status is low but what the heck are you talking about? What about Halle? What about Jlo and Mariah?
This is when Dr. Fertility let me know that me, you and ALL of us have been DOOPED!
They have tricked us again. These celebrities miracle moms. They have failed to mention a very important key component.... Donor Eggs!
With IVF treatment your chances go from less than 3% to over 40% with Donor Eggs.
So if I understand this correctly, you find a donor that looks like you (or better) that is as tall as you (or taller) and smart like you (or smarter) and plant those eggs in your womb shake them up with your sperm of choice. Very Weird Science (I'm totally dating myself)

Okay... maybe not but you know what I mean.
I feel like I have been mislead into believing that having a baby is as easy as opening up my check book and my womb to a few easy treatments.
Well, I'm here to tell you ladies.                DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE!!

I understand that being a Mom is a crazy hard job and being a Celebrity Mom in the constant eye of the public must be nerve racking but it comes with the territory. They don't want to let us into their Birth Process but they do want to parade their baby bumps and Twinsies on the cover of People Magazine.
So I'm here to let you ladies know...  DONOR EGGS!   DONOR EGGS!    DONER EGGS!  

 Just in time for EASTER.      



Well, I know what your next question is... "So, you did it right? You got your doppelganger donor eggs and had your triplets?"

And my answer is "Heck No!"
Our $10-$20,000 was not even close to what we would need to just get things started. BUT... I'm all for it and if we had the financial means I think we would have seriously considered it.

We ADOPTED instead. And I can't wait to tell you about that one.

Whoa! Look who's BACK?


I have dusted off my computer and I'm ready to give my 2 cents again. If you thought I was a "know-it-all" before well now it's even WORSE. I'm somebody's Mother!!
Now I have a license to be bossy, opinionated, cranky, tired and always looking for a glass of wine,
I, like many of you out there, am on this Parenthood Journey and we have NO CLUE what we are doing. (Not that we did before) but now we are dragging a "little person" around with us. They REALLY are clueless.  They know even less than we do. Unless you have a TODDLER!

For some reason these new model babies (any baby born after 2010) are equipped with some special chip that they are born with the ability to quickly comprehend technology. My baby figured out how to work my cellphone before she could work her legs.


But my baby isn't a baby anymore and she will be the first to remind me of that. She is a TODDLER and apparently they already know everything. At least they (or maybe just mine) think they do. These aliens we call TODDLERS are no joke. They are like mini Dictators. If they weren't so little I just might be scared. Mine has given me a look that stopped me in my tracks.

 

 

I had to listen to my inner voice that told me, "You're the mom. Be strong. You can do this."
If you have had that conversation with yourself then you are in the right place. If not, you're Still in the right place and can give us some insight.

So, I will be sharing my knowledge and giving as well as asking a lot of advice, Because after all I am.... MY TODDLER'S MOM!