The opinions start coming in from the VERY beginning.
"You should get married in a church, not on a beach. Beaches are so public and sandy."
"You should skip the honeymoon and save that money to buy a house"
"You should have a baby right away, you're not getting any younger,"
"Don't have a baby right away you need time to be a married couple."
I remember having a nervous breakdown (one of many) when it was time to set up my Baby Registration for the baby shower. I had no clue what I needed and what I didn't need.
I got some amazing advice from www.lucieslist.com. Shootout to Lucie!!So of course I asked my girlfriends with kids. And I got some great advice and lots and lots of opinions. Lots of contradicting opinions.
"Diaper Genie, an absolute MUST HAVE!" "Diaper Genie, complete WASTE of MONEY."
Confusing to say the least. My Mommy Girlfriends are a huge part of my "village" and I would not be able to function without them. Some of the BEST advice I have gotten to date still comes from these Mommy's opinions. So don't throw out the baby with the bath water. Listen but keep in mind, "Opinions are like butt holes... everyone has one".
I remember the baby years. Dressing her up in whatever I liked, thought was cute, happened to be clean(ish). We were blessed with "hand-me-downs" I LOVE "hand-me-downs".
The baby years (or months) they pretty much live in onesies and rompers, and sometimes socks depending on the season. All these adorable outfits, dresses and suits were either re-gifted, returned or passed on. By the time she was able to wear them they were either too small or out of season.
A great tip I got from my cousin Tonya was to put a couple of outfit changes, separated, in Ziploc bags and then put them in the diaper bag so when they mess up their clothes you grab a Ziploc and it already have
a fresh outfit waiting AND you have plastic bag to put the dirty one in.
Great tip - it applies to potty training toddlers too.
I felt like a big kid with a live doll baby to dress up and talk to and imagine what the future would bring.
I couldn't wait until Halloween. The first year she got two costumes to wear.
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| North West Kardashian |
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| Princess Leia |
I knew one day she would have an opinion about her fashion decisions so until that day came I would milk it for all it was worth. Plus I wanted to give myself enough baby Black-Mail photos as I could just in case I needed them.
I felt so lucky that my "Mini-Me" and I had the same taste. I was definitely in denial. She was so happy when I put her in all these cutesy dresses and rompers with matching bows, bells and bonnets,
I mean, she's a baby. She doesn't care what she wears as long as its comfy and she can Eat in it.
Little did I know she was waiting for the day she had enough vocabulary and motor skills to tell me what she REALLY thought.
And when that day came around year 2.75 she did. She had an opinion. And she had an opinion about Everything!
Now, when I pick out the cutest little outfits and dresses she tells me, "No. Not that one. I don't wanna wear that one." When I put her shoes on she screams, "NOOOOO! I don't like these shoes."
Even combing her hair in the morning has become topic of discussion.
Ponytail vs. No Ponytail. Braids vs. Bun.
I remember how happy she was when we gave her some "TV watching time" and put on what ever was playing on Disney Jr Channel. Now she's like, " I don't wanna watch Doc McStuffins I wanna watch Sofia the First. No! Not Sofia, PJ Masks."
When did my baby turn into an actual "person" with an "opinion'?
Pretty soon she will start to tell me what I should do. I have already caught her looking at me funny, as if she wants to say something but hasn't found the right words or the right time. But I know its coming.
Of course I knew eventually she would have her own views, feelings and ideas. I want that. I want to raise a well rounded woman who is bright and thoughtful, who asks questions and challenges others.
I want her to be able to think for herself and follow her gut feelings. I want her to feel comfortable questioning authority and have the ability to make up her own mind and have strong opinions but ALREADY? Not NOW. Not at 3. I was thinking 23? Who has an opinion at 3? I need more time to influence you with MINE.
They are little sponges and as much as she is learning to develop her own opinion about the few things she has control over, she emulates everything she sees us do. So I have to be careful about MY opinions and how I choose to express them because they are always watching and repeating. Nothing is more inappropriate and embarrassing than your 3 year old publicly expressing an adult opinion in the wrong settings outside of the comfort and understanding of your friends and family. That's when you look at your Mimi-me like you have never seen this child before and try then to pretend you are the Nanny.
Like I said, there are a lot of opinions out there and some you listen to and some you don't. I guess its the same with our toddlers. They are hearing us but are they listening? I guess we will keep throwing it to them and see what sticks.
I am trying to be sure that my views and opinions are coming from a loving safe place and not a selfish insecure side of me. You'll see and know the difference when they get tossed back in your face. Its a hard reality.
I look forward to my baby girl growing into a little girl into a big girl but not so fast... SLOW DOWN.
It's a hard thing to do but sometimes we have to just sit back and enjoy the ride. (but hold on for dear life too)
