To Be or NOT To Be Naked (in front of your toddler)

How do we promote positive body image and teach our children to be secure in their own skin without freaking them out and giving them nightmares or complexes?
This is a hot topic in the Parent World.
I am American and my husband is European. We both have very similar views and parenting styles. But we grew up in different worlds. My parents were never shy about being naked. Especially not the women in my family. But then again we are a family of mostly women. My dad was the only male in the house other than the pets. I don't recall him ever being naked in front of us except for one time when I was a pre-teen about 11 or 12 and that image still haunts me.
Apparently my father, unbeknownst to me, slept in the nude and when the fire alarm in our house went off he swung open the door to check on his young daughter. And even though the light from behind him shadowed him into a silhouette, I saw his Full Monty. "EWWWW." 

Did it scar me for life? I don't think so but I still remember it. Maybe it stayed in my mind as a big deal because that was not a regular occurrence. That was my only memory of seeing my dad naked. (and believe me that was plenty... no pun intended)

Maybe if my father was as open with his nudity as the other women in my family were, it would not have resonated as much.
Well, I do remember seeing my Grandmother naked and that was NOT a pretty sight either. But that was a very important learning moment because I needed to know what happens to our bodies as we get older.

I understand that being the only guy in a house full of women of all ages, my dad probably felt it inappropriate to parade around his house naked and I agree. But at what age did he consciously decide to do this? My sister is 5 years older than me and my Grandmother has lived with us on and off for most of my childhood so maybe he never did. (unfortunately he is no longer with us to ask)

Now I have a 3 year old daughter and as much as I never thought I was a "prude", when my husband shared with me that he and our daughter (18mos at the time) took a bath together my first reaction was...

  "Hmmmmm. I don't know how I feel about that." It wasn't a matter of trust but more of a feeling of awkwardness. It's a total double standard for sure. I imagine a mother and baby in the bath together all cutesie and having a loving moment and then I think of a father and daughter in the bath and my mind makes a "screw-face". And it's not even like a stranger told me. It's my own husband and daughter. As quick as the red flags came up they released just as quickly. I filed it under "European" and didn't think about it again.
But the father naked in front of daughters seanario came up again at a playdate and we split the room 50/50. Me and another mom had similar reactions and the other mom and dad felt being nude in front of their daughters were freeing and normal.
Like everything we do as parents, we are ruled by our children. You have to know your child and be open and aware of how things we do and things they say effect them.

My toddler's Milestones are all hers and we have simply been her guides and her support. When she started sleeping through the night at 10 weeks old it was partly from research that I read and partly because the tools that I read about actually worked. (for HER)
If they hadn't worked then I would have tried something else. Ever child is different.

My toddler is at the end of her potty training. Of course I am the one that encourages her and guides her through this rite of passage but I am only following her lead. I can't make her or force her to use the toilet on command. And it is not from lack of trying. I can only give her the tools she needs to help her in her training. But she is the one in charge. She had been for a long time. The sooner we accept that the easier it will be for us to coexist.

Toddlers are scary.

I am trying to look at parenting as a team sport. Not only with your partner but with you child. We are the coaches and in order to get our team a WIN and a VICTORY we have to know their weaknesses and strengthen them.
And all of this without ruining them for life.
You have to know your child's tell-tell signs. Just as we mark their growth on the door frames we have to make mental notes of their reactions and feelings. By the time my toddler is a full fledged teenager I want to be able to read her like an open book. (I'm sure I won't but maybe I can have a little insight when I need it)

So back to the question, "Should I cover up in front of my toddler or let it all hang out?"

We are our children's first everything. First teachers, first friend, first supporter and first love.  If your toddler seems uncomfortable or bothered with your nakedness than cover it up. If they aren't bothered by it then let it flow. Whether you are part of the Naked or Not So Naked way of thinking, keep the communication open and teach your toddler that their bodies are not only beautiful but sacred.
And if your Toddler looks at you or your partner naked and asks, "What's that?"

 Be prepared. What will you say? Are you the "pee pee" or the "penis"? Are you the "kitty-cat" or the "vagina"? Are you the type to name your privates or go clinical?

We try and keep it close to clinical as we can. I don't want there to be any misunderstandings when it comes to the "PRIVATES". All parties involved need to be clear on what we are discussing when the topic arises. And the main thing we really try to do is be honest. (without giving too much information too soon) They're toddlers, keep it simple and remember what ever you tell them they will 100% repeat it at the most inappropriate time.

Toddler Guide Flying Tips

There are always tricks and tips to having a successful trip, when traveling with your family. Especially when you are traveling with small children. There are many things one can do when you are traveling with your infant but here we will talk about a successful travel with your toddler.
I say successful knowing that this could vary depending on the individual. A successful flight for me is if I don't try to jump out of the plane during the flight.  (just kidding...kind of)

Sometimes a successful flight just means that when you finally land the same people who smiled and made "toddler small talk" are still smiling and not avoiding your sheepish grins of sorry or glaring at you with hateful thoughts.



TIMING
(book your flights a couple hours before nap or bedtimes)
I always try to take the first morning flights or late evening flights so there is a better chance of getting your toddler to sleep. Especially with the longer flights. But be aware that the night flights are annoying because the flight attendants turn the light on ever five minutes. (This was extremely annoying with our infant more than our toddler. Usually a toddler, once asleep, will stay knockout most of the time.)


COMFY CLOTHES
(bring an extra change on the plane)
Unless you are carrying on luggage, and are able to keep it handy, have an extra change or two with you for accidents. We made that mistake only just recently. For our trip to Dominican Republic we had our carry on ready but with the mosquito situation we brought huge bottles of bug repellant and had to check a bag. I wasn't thinking and checked the toddler bag. Bad Idea!
I was pretty careful but as you Toddler Mom's know, toddlers can closely resemble teenagers and when they want their way they don't always take "no" for an answer.
I turn away for just one minute and that tall cup of half apple juice half water that I specifically said not to grab had spilled in the toddler's lap.
Luckily an hour was enough to semi dry cheap target leggings if you stick them in the plane's window shade.
Otherwise I was prepared to "jimmy-rig" a skirt out of the red Delta blanket.

Extra points= change their outfit when you land in the gate bathroom and your friends and or family will be so impressed at how neat and clean they are after a long flight.


TRAVEL GIFTS
(toddler attention span is no more than 15 mins)
Hit your local 99 cent store or take some of their smaller toys that they haven't  looked at in ages and wrap them individually. And when they start getting restless give them one at a time to open and play with. Try to spread them out, time wise, as much as you can. It even helps as bribes for good behavior.
Books are good too but I don't count them in the travel gifts because they aren't as exciting (at least not for my toddler) But I still bring them on flights for extra entertainment.


SNACKS SNACKS and MORE SNACKS
(snacks and toddlers go hand and hand)
To be honest, when you ard dealing with toddlers SNACKS are the answer to a lot of quick fix problems. Luckily snacks are one of the few things you can still bring on flights. You can also bring water if its in some sort of baby bottle or sippy cup looking thing. They "test" it now.
So bring easy accessible snacks that you can grab and go and try to stay away from sugar snacks. You don't want your toddler bouncing off the airplane walls.
Raisins are great but be prepared to drop half of them on the floor. Fruit is great too but pre slice and or seperate for less mess and independent handling. Anything your toddler can do by themselves the better.
My toddler's favorite phrase is, "I do it myself."


ELECTRONICAL BABYSITTER
(fortunately or unfortunately we live in an electronical world where babies are born with a mental chip to understand and be obsessed with electronics)
What ever device you use, bring it. If your toddler is "unplugged", YOU obviously aren't so bring what ever portable devices you have, especially on long trips.
Most airlines now have built-in video screens where you can select your own programing. I suggest you purchase your own child safe headset, they have safeguarded volume controls so your toddler doesn't blow out their eardrums.


THE FAVORITE "LOVEY"
(nothing is more comforting than having your trusty partner that's been with you through thick and thin by your side)
And last but ,by far, NOT least...  please don't forget your toddlers favorite "Lovey", toy, stuffed animal, blankie, pillow or whatever it is that keeps them feeling safe and reminds them of home. Other than YOU this is their "I'm gonna be alright" item.
And whatever that item is I hope you have a standby or duplicate at home. Nothing is more upsetting to your toddler than to lose their "Lovey".
This happened to us recently (same Dominican Republic trip) we accidentally left our Toddler's Zebra on the plane. She has slept with this snuggler from day 1. We were dreading having to tell her that we left it on the plane. Luckily we also brought her stuffed puppy. My husband came up with a brilliant story. He told her that "Debra" flew back home on the plane to keep an eye on the house and would be waiting for her in her room when we returned.
We both froze waiting for the screams and water works but she bought it and said, "ok". She asked for it only a couple more times but she bought it hook line and sinker.
And when we strategically let her find "back up-Debra" she, not once, mentioned how clean this Debra was or made any suggestion that this was a fraud Debra and we all went back to business as usual.

So Parents. THAT is a successful travel experience.
Hope that helps. Safe Travels.

And please feel free to add on, share or agree to disagree in the comments section.