The NEW "Terrible Twos"

Terrible Twos
Phrase of terrible


     1.   informal
           a period in a child's early social development
           (typically around the age of two years) that is 
           associated with defiant or unruly behavior.
          

 This is really an outdated term. This term is from the 50s when women (of certain means) were shocked and appalled at the behavior of their toddlers. It was, to say the least, TERRIBLE!
I remember dreading and counting the months until the Terrible Twos were coming. When you are a new parent you fantasize and dream of all the wonderful beautiful days ahead. Like this:

And then reality hits and you get something more of this:

This phenomenon started for my daughter at 1.5 years and I thought it was a bit early for her to start the Terrible Twos but then again MY daughter is advanced. (HA)
But the Mommy Crew I had acquired took great pleasure in informing me that I hadn't seen nothing yet.
 "Terrible Twos... wait to you hit the threes. They are worse."

I was devastated at this news. No one has ever mentioned to me about the Threes. This was the first I was hearing about it. I just assumed that once the Terrible Twos were over (not that it would be smooth sailing but) things would move toward the positive NOT the worse.
What happens at 4 years old?
 I don't want to point out JUST the terrible aspects of being a toddler. Our babies can walk, talk, sing, comprehend and respond to the world in a way only a toddler can. It is a most rewarding and entertaining time. One thing I have seen in the fabulous 4 year olds is a much bigger vocabulary.


Funny how none of these parents seem to know where they heard these words from. Mysterious!

 

 



 

 

So, What's my point?

Basically if you were/are anything like me and you're banking on trying to hold your breath long enough to get through the Terrible Two, might as well exhale now because after the Terrible Twos are the "Three-nagers".

 

And if you're lucky you might get cussed out by your 4 year old and become and internet success.

Until we can come up with a better term to call this era of Toddler Teens, the New Terrible Twos is more of an age range than set age.

Hang in there parents and keep those cameras rolling...

 

Fertility at 40 Foes and Frauds

Turning 40 is only scary when you are 30. Once you're in it, you're like, "this isn't so bad".

Getting married at an "older" age has great perks too. You don't feel obligated to listen to anyone's opinion on how, where, when or even who to invite to your wedding. When you get married at 40 you're most likely paying for your own wedding, so you can pretty much do what you want.

At 40 you have had most of your friends for a significant time and are pretty set in your ways.
"Can't teach an old dog new tricks" kind of feeling and you are okay with that.
Everywhere you look there are strong beautiful woman in their 40s looking good and feeling good. Starting businesses, going back to school, getting degrees and even starting healthy happy families.

At least celebrities are:

Halle Berry pregnant at 46


Kelly Preston Pregnant at 47



Geena Davis Pregnant at 48



Laura Linney Pregnant at 49



Cheryl Tigs Pregnant at 52



There are plenty more I could rattle off that are popping out babies like rabbits. It must be easy- peezy right?
We aren't as gullible enough to think these women aren't getting help. We all figure fertility is involved so when it came time for my husband and I to start our family we weren't worried. We'd try the old fashion way. We felt like we were in one of those romantic comedies where you check your fertility times and rush home to try and make that fertile window. I even did the handstands and legs up the wall. It was fun for the first couple of times then this crap got un-fun REAL fast.

Our romantic comedy turned into a psychological thriller.

Months, months and more months went by and we were not getting pregnant. So we decided it was time to call Dr. Fertility.

I was feeling pretty secure and comfortable before we even met with Dr. Fertility. We had about 10 maybe 20 thousand saved that we could put toward our fertility treatment. (why isn't this covered by insurance? That we can discuss on another post)
I was ready for MY People Magazine cover, for my Glamour Shot with my new twins. We even joked about how crazy it would be if we had triplets.
And then reality hit! It hit hard.
Dr. Fertility broke it down for us.
He said it was pretty simple. As young as you feel or as young as you look didn't count or matter in this case. You might still get carded at the bar and one of those, "You Go Girl"- looks,  when you hand over your id. But the bottom line is, you are old and your eggs are old too. Even with IVF treatment your chances are slim.
Um... excuse me Dr. Fertility. I know my celebrity status is low but what the heck are you talking about? What about Halle? What about Jlo and Mariah?
This is when Dr. Fertility let me know that me, you and ALL of us have been DOOPED!
They have tricked us again. These celebrities miracle moms. They have failed to mention a very important key component.... Donor Eggs!
With IVF treatment your chances go from less than 3% to over 40% with Donor Eggs.
So if I understand this correctly, you find a donor that looks like you (or better) that is as tall as you (or taller) and smart like you (or smarter) and plant those eggs in your womb shake them up with your sperm of choice. Very Weird Science (I'm totally dating myself)

Okay... maybe not but you know what I mean.
I feel like I have been mislead into believing that having a baby is as easy as opening up my check book and my womb to a few easy treatments.
Well, I'm here to tell you ladies.                DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE!!

I understand that being a Mom is a crazy hard job and being a Celebrity Mom in the constant eye of the public must be nerve racking but it comes with the territory. They don't want to let us into their Birth Process but they do want to parade their baby bumps and Twinsies on the cover of People Magazine.
So I'm here to let you ladies know...  DONOR EGGS!   DONOR EGGS!    DONER EGGS!  

 Just in time for EASTER.      



Well, I know what your next question is... "So, you did it right? You got your doppelganger donor eggs and had your triplets?"

And my answer is "Heck No!"
Our $10-$20,000 was not even close to what we would need to just get things started. BUT... I'm all for it and if we had the financial means I think we would have seriously considered it.

We ADOPTED instead. And I can't wait to tell you about that one.

Whoa! Look who's BACK?


I have dusted off my computer and I'm ready to give my 2 cents again. If you thought I was a "know-it-all" before well now it's even WORSE. I'm somebody's Mother!!
Now I have a license to be bossy, opinionated, cranky, tired and always looking for a glass of wine,
I, like many of you out there, am on this Parenthood Journey and we have NO CLUE what we are doing. (Not that we did before) but now we are dragging a "little person" around with us. They REALLY are clueless.  They know even less than we do. Unless you have a TODDLER!

For some reason these new model babies (any baby born after 2010) are equipped with some special chip that they are born with the ability to quickly comprehend technology. My baby figured out how to work my cellphone before she could work her legs.


But my baby isn't a baby anymore and she will be the first to remind me of that. She is a TODDLER and apparently they already know everything. At least they (or maybe just mine) think they do. These aliens we call TODDLERS are no joke. They are like mini Dictators. If they weren't so little I just might be scared. Mine has given me a look that stopped me in my tracks.

 

 

I had to listen to my inner voice that told me, "You're the mom. Be strong. You can do this."
If you have had that conversation with yourself then you are in the right place. If not, you're Still in the right place and can give us some insight.

So, I will be sharing my knowledge and giving as well as asking a lot of advice, Because after all I am.... MY TODDLER'S MOM!