My daughter was a formula baby. She wasn't breast feed. She was a very healthy baby, nice and chunky. We also didn't co-sleep with her. She had her bassinet and when she quickly grew out of that, went immediately into her crib. This might be part of the reason she is extremely independent.
And because she was formula fed also made it easier to feed her then put her back to sleep with her best friend, "Binky".
Her favorite was the "Original Orange Binky" that the nurses in the hospital gave her. And my favorite was the "Mustache Binky" that was a baby shower gift. But many "Binkies" came and went and were brought in and out of rotation.
I didn't think that much about them other then I knew always to have one handy. Sometimes nothing could sooth my baby girl's woes than the plugging in of her "Binky".
I didn't like for her to have one when we were "out-and-about" on the town. I didn't like the way it looked. And luckily for me she didn't need one during our outings. She was a very expressive baby and she was aware of the attention her expressions got her. So when she made her funny expressions she wanted her entire face showing. (Born a ham)
Her "Binky" and her Lovey "Debra" (also a baby shower gift) has been with her from the beginning.
Those two go hand and hand, literally.
We were smart enough to think ahead and buys multiples so we'd always have a back-up.
That's something you don't wanna learn the hard way.
I would see other kids with their "Binkies" some older and some younger than my own and I wondered, "At what age does one give up the 'Binky'?"
My nephew still used a "Binky" at 3yrs old and I thought that seemed old, he called it a "Chucho". And he looks older that he actual is. When he came to visit us when he was 5yrs old he definitely didn't have his "Chucho" (he still had his "Lovey" though. He was coming without his parents from overseas so you couldn't expect him to come without any support. I thought that was pretty brave of him.)
I asked a few of my Mommy friends and some of them never even used a "Binky". Huh? No Binky?
As much as it was a comfort and support for my daughter it was kind of one for me too. When she was quiet, content and relaxed just slurping and sucking on her "Binky" I too was quiet, content and relaxed. Just slurping on my glass of wine. (Just kidding... am I?)
And once she became mobile she was putting "Binky" and EVERYTHING else in her mouth. And I mean EVERYTHING. Anything that was in her tiny baby hand's reach would end up in her mouth.
I would see those fancy moms in their fancy dresses looking like moms from magazines and they had those teething necklaces that were color coordinated with their outfits. They had JCrew accounts for sure. I wanted to look like those moms. I didn't want to know what they did, didn't do, or sacrificed to look like that I just wanted to wake up, looking like that.
Instead I had on the same jeans I've had on all week and maybe a clean shirt depending on what time of the day it was. My baby was on the go now and I had no time to color coordinate and she wanted to put everything in her mouth, EXCEPT for one of those $50 teething necklaces I got for myself at the Trendy Mommy boutiques in Park Slope, Brooklyn. She was moving around and getting into everything. We had a much smaller apartment at the time so I was able to gate her into a contained section. But that "Binky" of hers always seemed to find itself in the damnedest places.
I never did get one of those "Binky" clips. Those things probably are quite helpful.
I took my girl to the dentist when her very first tooth popped thru. It was a bit early but I read in one of my New Moms blogs that, that's what moms were doing these days so... while we had insurance why not. (I was wrong about the insurance thing by the way... it wasn't covered)
I LOVED the pediatric dentist that was recommended to me by one of my best friend's wife (who was also a Pediatric Dentist- go figure) she was great. I had a First Mommy panic and ended up calling her on a holiday weekend because I was convinced that my baby had did something to her gums after she hit her mouth on the crib.
It ended up being absolutely nothing and she was so kind and understanding. I brought her in for her official 1 year dental check up ( which was covered by insurance)
She did well and endured her first fluoride treatment. By the next visit we had switched dentists. Even though I LOVED the original dentist her staff was an abomination. I don't deal well with unprofessional and rude behavior if I don't have to. This new dentist turned out to be even BETTER than the original one and his staff is golden. (if you are in the New York, Brooklyn area and want a recommendation feel free to leave me a comment and I will give you his info)
At this time my daughter is 2yrs old with a mouth full of teeth and vocabulary to match. She has recently started Day Care for the first time. (that's a whole other post) The "Binky" has been unofficially reduced to only naps and bedtime. And they allowed her to have it at Day Care during her nap time. This is also in the middle of POTTY TRAINNING. (also for another post)
What I have noticed in baby/toddlers (at least mine) is when they are in the middle of big transitions like, eating solids, sleeping through the night, sitting up, walking, talking, potty training... they tend to drop some of the past things they have been working on so they can focus.
For instant while we were doing great with only using the "Binky" for nap/bedtime when potty training started getting intense she wanted the "Binky" more.
We also relied on it more during long travels.
The "Binkies" themselves were getting a bit worn down. She was chewing them and the rubber nipple was often shredded or torn. I was afraid she would swallow the rubber so I kept replacing them. During her 2yr old dental visit the doctor made an announcement. He told me that when she turned 3yr there is NO MORE "BINKY". She would have to lose it and he suggested to do it cold turkey. I shuddered at the thought.
We were due for our next dentist appointment and knew this was gonna be the moment. So about 2 weeks before our appointment I started prepping her. I reminded her every night what the dentist had said. That she was a big girl now and that meant no more "Binky". She agreed that she was a big girl but she was not convinced that meant no more "Binky".
We practiced what we were going to say to the dentist on our next visit. "Here's my "Binky". I'm a big girl now so I don't need it." And then hand it to him. She was excited on the day of the appointment and I wasn't sure how it was all going to go down but she was at least prepared.
And like the trooper she is, she DID IT. She handed over that "Binky" like a champ. (She also got sunglasses, a Tierra, slinky and bubbles for it)
Right before we left the dental assistant pulled me to the side and said, "I know you have a stash of "Binkley" hidden at home somewhere, don't you?" I nodded that I did. "You have to promise me you will throw them away the minute you get home." I promised. (She made me pinky-swear)
When we got home from the dentist I ranted and raved and put on a big-to-do about how proud I was of my little, Big, girl and that she should be proud of herself too. She beamed with pride. We were cheerful, sweet and fun during dinner. She ate all her dinner and had a frozen fruit pop for desert.
Took a nice long bath because of the fluoride treatment she wasn't allowed to brush and that was fine with us both. She wiggled happily into her pajamas as we both sat on the bed ready to read some bedtime stories. Then the dark cloud hovered over the room and she turned to me, curiously and asked in a soft sweet voice, "where's my Binky?"
I gave her a hug and told her again how proud I was of her and now much of a big girl she was. I reminded her how brave she had been when she gave the "Binky" to the dentist and how he said he would tie it to balloons and they would fly up up in the sky.
She lost it!
She cried like I had never seen her cry before. This was a devastation cry. She couldn't believe this was happening to her, kind of cry. Then she screamed! She screamed the kind of scream when you just realized you made the biggest mistake of your life.
"NOOO!"
"I WANT MY BINKY!"
I tried to comfort her but she couldn't stop crying. She looked up at me as I held her in my arms and said, through her tears, "It's my fault. I made a mistake. We have to go and get it. We have to go get it back."
She broke from my grasp and began looking for her shoes.
"Let's go! Let's go get it!"
I told her she was a big girl now and she didn't need it anymore. She was strong and brave and yes this was hard but she could do it. I tried all the clichés I thought would work. She wasn't even trying to listen to me.
"Call Papa! He'll go! Tell Papa to go and get my Binky!"
"I WANT MY BINKY"
This was so hard to watch, my baby's devastation. She had lost her best friend, her confidant and the closest thing to her other than us. I knew this was a tough one and I knew I had to be there for her. And for the next 3 days I was her bedtime supporter. I laid down with her (longer than usual) I read more books that usual and I let her get away with a little bit more than she usually gets away with.
This lasted 5 days...
Once she started treating bedtime as an after hours play-fest. I was done. Back to cracking the whip and tightening up the reins. I still continue to remind her of her bravery and tell her how proud of her we are. My little baby girl is blossoming into a little BIG girl right in front of my eyes and it is an amazing thing to see. (and terrifying)
We are only on day 6. I'm thinking a couple more days and she won't even think about it anymore.
"Binky? What Binky?"
